I wish I could teleport
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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