in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
whose parrot is this?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
