You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
