No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
