My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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