He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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