my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
