So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
