Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
