OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
