Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
