I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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