Soap is not a condiment
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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