sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
