are you so shy because you have an std?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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