ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
