Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
