There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
