Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Randomize
