if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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