I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We need to get me chipped asap
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
