just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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