I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
