she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
