whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
