you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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