It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
