wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
