mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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