neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
