Sponge bath it is.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
