you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
