belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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