i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
