He is an equal opportunity slut.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
