So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
