Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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