I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
