I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Randomize
