I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
