Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
