Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
