porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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