the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
