she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
