seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
