discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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