they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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