Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
