I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
