i just google imaged poop.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
