my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
