I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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